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The Ape

by Sasha Stray

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1.
The Ape 02:29
We are stardust, we are golden We are blood and shit and urine We are gods - or are we animals? Alike unfit to sink or soar Evolving right out of my skin I'm reaching for Survival resting on the herd's protection A frantic free for all race for affection The stray cannot survive the elements With neither strength nor wit To go alone in confidence A desperate bid to please our peers, we sing and dance The Ape, The Ape, The Ape All the ape wants is to be accepted member of the tribe and not to be rejected all the ape wants is to be accepted that's my only objective So when the zombies come, just give me the gun I wasn't meant for running, I was meant for fun If the oceans rise, give me the cyanide I got no special skills to help the herd survive I can sing a little song around the fire Am I lovable enough to come along for the ride Will I be insulated by the strong on the outside will the poets and the prophets be left behind When it's back into survival mode and the ape in the genetic code All the ape wants is to be accepted member of the tribe and not to be rejected all the ape wants is to be accepted that's my only objective
2.
Slut Shame 02:22
Slut shame me I was a lover this place has gotten inside me and I didn't try to stop it I hurt I was hurt and it hurt my confidence wound up in the dirt I loved this town so much it hurt drive by the places that remind me of things that I did and people that I loved when I was 20 Stupid don't even begin to describe it drive around chasing your hallucinations letting her name swim around in my head waking up with him so early in the morning graduation sweat drip down my forehead none claimed me I was a fighter boyfriends were loose ends that never tied up ugly voice, shaking on the open mic stage gave breath for the very first time to the words that have come to define me down town getting drunk on my own wound up with you ground into the floor that's why I swore off drinking am I sober now but it's clear, oh yes it's clear oh yes it's clear there's still a wild whisper in my ear
3.
A tentacle wrapped around my ankle gently guides my feet along the sea floor sometimes just right, sometimes too tight My octopus socks hold my feet forever wherever they go I will follow too never alone my suction cup seduction keeps me at home in my lagoon and I am not afraid of being understood my words are safe at the bottom of this trench ten thousand tons of water over head I have the bends I see no light, and know where it ends, nowhere it ends perpetual night but also A light piercing through the blue-green casting rays of ecstatic energy through my corner of the sea I dream of bursting through the surface, sunlight burning in my eyes salt water crashing up my nose salt water sloshing down my throat filling up my lungs bleaching my rotten soul laughing at my hubris scolding me for arrogance punishing my deviance feeling betrayed by me a monster of the deep I wake up somewhere dry and warm and covered in sand I'm marooned on a desolate desert island But I wasn't attacked by sharks, or dashed against the rocks, or any of the things I feared when I was wearing my Octopus Socks Well it's not all palm trees and coconuts here But it's Me, minus the Fear
4.
Matter 02:31
You put that voice in my head that says I'm an idiot a war erupts within, When I shout "shut up, shut up, Shut UP!" I'm trying to win it self hatred isn't the bug, it's the feature It's the way I was wired I believed it would push me to grow and improve but no matter how I grew the voice of your hatred always came through matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter anymore Sometimes I get mad at myself sometimes I just hate myself when I try to sleep When I'm sitting at my desk when I remember what I said when I remember what I did I wanna rip my hair out I'm gonna scratch myself I'm really mad at myself and I just hate myself Somebody was supposed to love me, instead made me think I was better off dead taught the voice inside my head to call me names I'm not so mad at you You did what you had to do I've healed my childhood wounds and I hope you can too but matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter anymore
5.
Lullybye 02:27
Lullybye, Lullybye, Lullybye Lullybye is part of my consiousness Lullybye is a child but she knows best and she knows, she knows best What you all need from me I don't get I don't even know what words are yet. Lullybye, Lullybye, Lullybye Lullybye puts fires out with her tears Lullybye is still crying after all these years cause she knows. She knows best I don't know what I need to say here Words are like, my biggest fear Lullybye you give me strength Lullybye you give me strength It's like you're a baby and you give me the reason why Oh Lullybye, you give me the reason why
6.
Algorithm 02:36
Echo chamber, misinformation Rabbit hole radicalization Data mining, read my mind Advertisement, isolation Curated images of lives unlived Unfiltered hate speech in the global south The algorithm strikes again You're watching what it recommends Send the link to all your friends The vicious cycle never ends I can't get out of bed without a talking head it knows me better than I know myself Insurrection coordinated ethnic cleansing organization genocide in Ethiopia violent content, no moderation Holidays with the folks ain't worth the trip loved ones lost forever to its grip The algorithm strikes again You're watching what it recommends Send the link to all your friends The vicious cycle never ends I can't get out of bed without a talking head it knows me better than I know myself
7.
I'm so sad that I can't be happy about the 2 lines, the plus sign, the letters spelling "yes" your two arms around me mystery of life inside a solo cup full of piss 25 just begun to feel alive band finally playing, bout to start grad school life is throwing everything it has at me at once and I can't be everything to everyone tomorrow I will make the call tonight I drink tea I don't wanna call my mom and hear the sadness in her voice to me, it's not a choice, to me it's not even a choice because it's not, I don't, I can't, I won't I'd rather die than change right now I run two miles a day my pride and joy is Sasha Stray I'm so sad that I can't be happy Sad that I can't be happy I want this all over and done I want to go to the ocean and run Want this all over and done I want to go to the Ocean When did life begin? I say it was 3 and a half billion years ago on a planet called Earth Cambrian Explosion and ever since then it's been unstoppable Have you seen clovers cropping up through the cracks in the concrete? Have you seen mold spreading out on a loaf of bread that you wanted to eat? Life begins at conception you say but upon further inspection why not when strangers lock eyes begin to fantasize about becoming lovers Or was my existence set in motion with the birth of my mother and so on back to the big bang if you'll concede that the universe began in some spectacular way life is life it will go on Multiple billion human beings fertile for some 20 years rapidly multiplying many living in poverty needlessly but for some others' greed still you feign outrage at a terminated pregnancy spare me the drama go foster a child give to the poor if you're feeling wild I can't stand the hypocrisy go do something to actually alleviate human suffering I want it all over and done I want to go to the ocean and run I want it all over and done I want to go to the ocean go to the ocean When this is gone, the light will still be there I'm gonna give it all to me

credits

released June 1, 2023

All songs by Sophie Saffan.
Guitar by Sophie Saffan.
Drums by Brent Davenport.
Bass by Olivia Bewley.
Produced by Will Wise.
Mastered by Jesse Magnum at The Glow.

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Sasha Stray Athens, Georgia

Political (philosophical) (indie) Punk

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